The oddest of odds

Shortly after the wild west brothel. We headed to another watering hole. Much to my horror i was confronted by the nefarious cardinal richelieu demanding to know of the whereabouts of my fellow muskehounds.

Holy banana!!!

Its like a wild west brothel in 'ere!

The Christmas Team Night Out

This night out had it all, an iguana, bulls testicles, the lot!

Oh aye, you press the play button incidentally.

Oh fickle fame

2 years in this company and despite my best efforts i have never made it into the reporter. Of course as soon as i look sagely at the sky with a blonde on my arm then bingo, i have cracked it.

Bigger and bigger.

I am starting to worry about the size of my tongue, i think people are starting to notice!

The Hallion

Cor this place is tops!

Il banda trionfante!

Sei di il meglio!

Take me to your leader

Somewhat blearily I demand to see the hanging gardens of babylon.

Lets get ready to rumble!

Quaffage leads to more quaffage and soon the wrestling starts in earnest. Craig believes he is winning with his headlock little knowing Fi is preparing to unleash her patented 'tears of the dragon' move!!

Testing Times Ahead

Its a howling mad pit of chaos in the halls as the moustaches, tongues and hats stride manfully thru torrents of cider and beer!!

The best things come in threes!

Raar, the company night oot was dwarved by the presence of the ICT massive!

The devils night

I prepare my outfit carefully for the works party. Its a free bar all flippin night which will certainly create some carnage! I can feel the devil in me ;)

The Bagina Brothers

Available for christenings and weddings

The sun shineth forth

But lo, as the clouds loomed menacingly on the horizon, a golden shaft of sunlight speared through and caused much joy and chanting

I pulled a cracker!

Oddly some strange metal bondage thing fell out of my cracker. I am not entirely sure but i think its some manner of 'nob n baw' device?

Black hats

Rhona smiles on the inside with every lip on her face as the night begins.

Its a monster!

Thats right, only the finest of establishments for an ICT night out! Inside we played beef roullette and danced with the course peasant girls.

Hmm tea!

Its nice to have some late night tea. Even if it is handed to you in a knobbly pink cup that could easily hold the north sea.

Four Kings

It was Friday night and the four kings contemplated long and hard the wisdom of their journey. Should it be to carry on? It was a painful road, but after much solemn deliberation they decided they were born for this task and cried "Let it thus be done".

The funniest card in the world

Ah, true on so many levels! ;o)

Ginger...... Bread House!

We may not have won the main prize, or come second or even third but for sheer individuality Ruth manages to win something with her impressive Gingerbread house made from the real tears of little ginger children.

Beware the swaddled babe

Cake, cake. Where-ever you may be

I am the lord of the cakes said he and I will lead you all where-ever you may be.

I will lead you all to the cakes said he!

Its Dark Majesty

Its the "Bake Off" competition in my work today. Sadly my white truffles failed, however others in the team were a lot more successful. The team oohed and ahhed at each joyous confection until Rhona's Clootie Dumpling was unveiled. Its dark majesty cowed us into silence.

Buzz, is that you?

As the dundonians and I lurched into the stormy three o'clock rain we were stopped by this imposing figure. "To Infinity and beyond!" he squealed. We backed away in terror at such a mighty hero, lest his wrath chose to smite our eyes further.

The View is fine from here

Andy from The View although more used to the glittering streets of London gives Tusk the thumbs up in his own flamboyant way. Its actually a furry scarf type thing and not a big sheaf on tinsel!

Where the mutton is never lamb

The incredible Tusk on a saturday night. The towering budha glowers over the leathery tanned "Sadie's" of this Shawlands waterhole

Naked Twister with 'Team Amazing'

The games were not so bad, I made four balloon dogs and pretended I only did one (cheating) to gain us lots of points. Then I flirted outrageously with one of the girly game referees for a couple of extra balls we didnt deserve or earn (What do balls make? Points apparently) Our team thus scored the highest ever apparently. Ah the joys of team playing ;o) A bottle of wine and a medal, whilst the second placed puppies nashed their teeth in frustration at our prowess.

Team Building - one year on

Last time we went team building it was sunny and we were sent to Loch Lomond in the sun, building bridges and quaffing large. This time we were sent to Eastern Europe (Coatbridge-ish). It was grey, it was raining and the only thing in sight was some scaffolding. The word gulag popped into my head frequently.

'Pot' Holing

I take some time out at one point in the Pot to go caving. Good lord. . We find a midget!

Melting Pot Madness

Craig talks to the hand as we boogy the night away in one of the better Melting Pots of late!

Testing

Ghosty ghost

As the 'almighty' Boston once sang.. I closed my eyes and she slipped away. You know, the bit before the twee guitar solo 'Waaah waahah wah waaah, waaaah waaah wawawawaaah'!!

Citizen Smith Rejoice!

I have finally found the perfect drink for my brother. It suits him, hehe!!

Testing

Pubs are for Tramps

What better way to watch the Scotland game than to watch it in the Malmaison champagne bar? Why indeed, whilst the plebs fought and bickered outside in the rain the 3 amigos relaxed with our Bolly, olives and lightly toasted almonds. Tis only a shame Scotland got roughly taken up the bahookie!

Fishing bait

Craig releases the little tykes. Perhaps next year near this spot we may catch a glimpse of the offspring if any of these nippers survive to maturity.

Mummy, can i have a pony?

Resembling some tightly stretched baw skin Mr C shows his new face to the world!

The cutting floor

Despite his pleas for mercy and the bad jokes tumbling from my mouth like little russian acrobats, the cutting continued. A hush had descended upon the crowd, they had expected a show but not this charnel house of pain!

Dred or Dead

Before the beasting takes place craig looks at me with pleading in his eyes like a baby seal. Little did this baby seal know that this Dawg still liked the clubbin!

Hat of the Gods

Its feckin freezin. Whilst hat shopping for the unfortunate soon to be dredless Mr C i spotted this cheeky chap, Yay! No more cold head for I and besides, I have always admired Elmer Fudd!!

Jealous, moi?

When yer pal is in new york you cant help feel a tad jealous when u get sent a picture like this! Boo hiss!!!

All dredded up and they are going to go!

Mr C is going for the big one and its all for the kids, ooer!! Yes on Friday Mr C is having them foosty bandangos on his head all shaved off for Children in Need. Cor blimey and rubaduck and no mistake what might lie in wait under there? I shall be the man doing the shaving and if you blunder across this page whether by accident or design please donate a wee bitty to the poor weans (here). I dare say he is dredding it but all the money helps. I promise I shant do a dredful job :o) See this page for "action" packed photos of the event on Friday!

Beware the Ninja!

In reply to the chap who wondered where all the scottish big issue sellers had gone. Killed obviously.

And the night went on.... and on.... and on

In what can only be described as a feat worthy of Hercules himself; the T man and I went to the pub. Then the Motorhead/Alice Cooper gig. Then the Buff club, finally rounding off our "journey" at the casino where we continued to drink til morning like the addled orangutangs we had become. Did you know that you arent allowed to take pictures of croupiers dealing? Pah I sneer at your human "laws".

Blurry, but so was the night..

If you peer closely and use your imagination you can almost see Lemmy from Motorhead belting out the Ace of Spades. Thankfully the gig was very busy as I was almost falling down drunk and the press of people kept me upright.

The Bow Tie Tying Contest

Thus the time came for the annual bow tie tying event. Competition was fierce indeed, especially from the man known only as "squint" who demonstrated his remarkable "crushed silk baw" technique. However I am sure you would agree there could only be one winner.

BEHOLD!!!

Phoned yesterday for am upgrade and it came today! 5 megapixel joy, could i BE any happier!!! Note - picture taken by shitey old phone :)

Biggles?

Haloween. The streets were awash with 'zany' students bedecked in colorful nylon. Myself and my twin took a moment from the far too many pints on a weeknight to ponder.

Amazing how bored you can get

Bored, peed off but fortunately my bro comes along and cheers me up with his fluffy face and ridiculous pink shirt.

Deck the Halls

Some people say that hospitals are depressing places. No idea where they would get that idea from! I must commend the vicky on placing there x-ray dept 63 miles and 4 floors from the entrance. Handy when u can only walk as fast as yoda

Harumph

By golly! I never thought to see the like in the 21st century. I do believe its a feller smoking a large pipe! I barely escaped with my life after this shot as the chap espied me snapping and with a great harumphing set the dogs on me!